I was just surfing the net minutes ago when suddenly without any particular reason i typed my own name in the google search engine. There emerged so many lives, so many 'SMRITI MAHAJAN's so to say- each one a story, distinct yet similar to every other perhaps.
Some one is in London, someone is a medical professional, someone is still in school and probably celebrating a recent victory in a talent hunt.... but each one, possibly with a pride in the name that is mine, and theirs, and just like me they all would think of it as their very unique entity.
I'm drowning down the past now, into all those moments where i argued, and fought just for my name sake! I wonder why now?!! It never belonged 'only' to me, it never will. I never owed it, actually it was given to me! I wonder why i felt it was special, i wonder why they think it is special...
I'm really feeling very ordinary now, not on the negative side though! I think i will always remember this fact next time when i get that 'this is me' feeling. I will never fight back again for the sake of my name, when someone will say things about 'Smriti Mahajan'- there are thousands of them, why should i bother!!
I feel so closer to him today, an inseparable part of his vast universe, where i just have a label, like everyone else, and that too is not unique. I feel so light, the weight of keeping upto my name has vanished from my shoulders. yes, i am freed from the name sake..
2 comments:
We all live for an 'Identity'. An identity that is not ours and is not without the people we are with.
It is not our name that decides who we are, it is our actions that decide that. Such thoughts just reinforce this.
Congratulations for finding a more comforting place on this planet, which is truly yours :).
I think I should also Google my name ;)
After reading this post seems wise Idea :)
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