from my balcony

''मधुर भावनाओं की सुमधुर नित्य बनाता हूँ हाला,
भरता हूँ इस मधु से अपने अंतर का प्यासा प्याला,
उठा कल्पना के हाथों से स्वयं उसे पी जाता हूँ,
अपने ही में हूँ मैं साकी, पीनेवाला, मधुशाला।।''
-- बच्चन

Looking out of the window, at these mysterious patterns in the sky i could not help realising that the voice was missing... the voice within me. But although at peace with the self, i'm not calm. There is something missing. Something i can not define because it is nothing in particular, but it is missing. All i know, i would have been happier in its presence, but i don't know where to find it.
Am i excited about going to Delhi? Am i thinking about work? What am i searching for? I feel utterly confused... but this phrase from Bachchan sahab's Madhushala defines me at this moment the best.

With a cup of Earl grey in my hand i'm trying to find that lost peace, wish me luck!

Good night

The seven daughters of Eve

I was introduced to the bestseller titled above by my advisor. An urge to explore, and love for reading finally led me to Waterstone's last week. I am still in the process of reading it, but the amazing story of how all of us in europe and many other parts of the world trace back our genetic past to just 7 women who lived thousands of years ago, intrigues me and provoked several thoughts to which i seldom have answers.
Written by Prof.Bryan Sykes, The seven daughters of eve is a story of the scientific journey of the discovery of our identity. The very idea, that the present holds the key to the questions about the past, is a novel one in itself. Moreover it has left me wondering that if this is true for the entire world, and just like all other species, we humans have developed special characteristics (like darker skin) over a period of time to suit the physical conditions, then it is so ironical that today we are killing each other to prove our own superiority.
Irrespective of who i am: a creationist, believing in the supreme powers of the super natural, or evolutionist, believing in the power of nature, survival by natural selection, one fact remains undeniable: We all belong to each other. How can we go against our own family then? We, the smartest species on this unique planet, fail to understand the difference between our responsibilities as a member of the human family. We still need to learn
from trillions of examples in the animal kingdom, where creatures of the same species, and even those of closely related ones, never harm one another. We are coming close to the same point in the circle from where we began in the stone age. the only aim of life was to survive, like that of most animals. Why are we the smartest species then? Shouldn't we have aims for life different than the masses (read other species)? we have come a long way, but we have a long one to cover still....

Time...

A random thought as i do get sometime, inspired me to make an attempt to express myself on this rainy dark evening today. `Time' as we call it, running through the day-to-day life, worrying about work, family, needs, one thing that we all complaint about rather casually is the lack of time. The voice asked me what is 'Time'? And as i have always done, i'm trying to think what is it? It is the flow which is carrying us.. but then how can we complaint about it? Memories that bring with them tears of joy and sorrow.. they are a part of our lives, us, then how can we complaint about it? The hope for tomorrow's prosperity for which we give up our present.. but then how can we.........

I fail to understand the concept of 'Time'! Let me tell you more about the voice i mentioned before. This is the voice i hear when i need it the most, and when i think i do not need at all. This is the one which kept telling me before every tough exam, 'you'll be fine', and i did appeared well. The voice tells me what to do and what to ignore. I am dictated by it sometimes, but sometimes i think it does listen to me too. It helps me to choose gifts for my family, to choose my words for people i meet everyday, to choose what i should do in the precious 24hrs i get whenever the sun rises, just like today it told me to talk to you.

Sometimes i do wonder i control the voice but actually i do not, just like i think i spend my time as i please but actually 'time' decides my action. The voice has been with me day and night, since i was born, and will continue to do so, just as time will continue to carry me with its flow. Sometimes i wonder if they are one..