It's quiet some time now since I have been thinking about this and the thoughts do appear 'randomly' in my write-ups too, terrorism. It just disturbs me virtually all the time, day and night. The very alien thought of humans killing human for something they are not even sure of, or for something they believe 'guards' us all. I know it is depressing and most of us do not have much time to think about beyond the critical circumstances of our own ridiculously complicated lives, but I still think about it, I can not help it.
God, the creator, the supreme, the all almighty, they use it's name to ruin mortal lives, destroy minuscule moments of happiness and tear apart memories. It agitates me to hear when people say that the next generation will 'get used to' this violence. Used to Violence? Why do they want to be engaged in a race of faith? Why can't democracy, the freedom of expression and opinion be uniformly defined? Why does it need to be politicized for a momentary good to few? It makes me feel sick, at heart and in my stomach.
I know I am not doing anything to stop it, probably I can not, but I don't want to blame those who have the responsibility either. My optimism tells me they are trying, hard. I am trying to imagine a morning when I will get up without a fear for the safety of my loved ones. When I will travel without losing hope of reaching the destination. When well-wishers will not stop me from returning back to the land I belong to, just because they want me safe and happy. The day I will be happy in the world I dream of, but find it very hard to imagine at the moment. The happy, peaceful world I have faint memories of from my childhood. I hope I will spend a few years of my life in my fairy-tale world.
Saturday 7 March 2009
Sunday 18 January 2009
I don't know!
I am wondering if it is the ‘I don’t know’ aspect of life that keeps us going, keeps it interesting. It is like hiking, following a trail, which gets tough at times, easy on others, I meet fellow hikers, I forget all pain and hardship occasionally when I admire the view of the valley from the summit, I carry on, knowing it is just going to be trees and trail, sky and mud at every new step forward, but yet the excitement does not diminishes. I so wish not to encounter the inhabitants of the forest, but somewhere within me I prepare myself for the adventure and so want it to happen, for the sake of ‘adventure’!
Life is as interesting, as predictably unpredictable and as knowingly unknown as a trail! But deciding to end the rendezvous with trail is in my hands, life just goes on, with its own steady pace, but sometimes too fast that it scares me that if I fail to keep up with it, it is going to be destructive.
Memories of the hikers I met in the past, surround me in those silent, dark, lonely evenings. For some of them I wonder what they are up to, for some I make a silent wish and hope they do well what ever, where ever. Some haunt me, and I think why I met them in the first place, some bring a smile on my face, some bring a tear. Some of them bring a strange pain, so dreadful that I want to return at that moment and start running to the point where I met them hoping to see them again, wishing to hug them, tell them how I felt, that the trail is going to be even more beautiful with their company to cherish for, but then my rational brain stops me. They are not going to be there. They would have moved on. Just like I did. I regret. May be shed a tear or two. Cry myself to sleep or get lost in the world of more memories- happy but painful. But then I am hopeful of a new day. A new beginning. Sometimes, of meeting them again. Often turning back to see if there is any trace of the ones I so wish to see. My practical brain ‘knows’ it won’t happen, my optimism assures me it will. The rational voice that follows me all the time, replies the same way as it mostly does, ‘I don’t know’!
Life is as interesting, as predictably unpredictable and as knowingly unknown as a trail! But deciding to end the rendezvous with trail is in my hands, life just goes on, with its own steady pace, but sometimes too fast that it scares me that if I fail to keep up with it, it is going to be destructive.
Memories of the hikers I met in the past, surround me in those silent, dark, lonely evenings. For some of them I wonder what they are up to, for some I make a silent wish and hope they do well what ever, where ever. Some haunt me, and I think why I met them in the first place, some bring a smile on my face, some bring a tear. Some of them bring a strange pain, so dreadful that I want to return at that moment and start running to the point where I met them hoping to see them again, wishing to hug them, tell them how I felt, that the trail is going to be even more beautiful with their company to cherish for, but then my rational brain stops me. They are not going to be there. They would have moved on. Just like I did. I regret. May be shed a tear or two. Cry myself to sleep or get lost in the world of more memories- happy but painful. But then I am hopeful of a new day. A new beginning. Sometimes, of meeting them again. Often turning back to see if there is any trace of the ones I so wish to see. My practical brain ‘knows’ it won’t happen, my optimism assures me it will. The rational voice that follows me all the time, replies the same way as it mostly does, ‘I don’t know’!
Sunday 11 January 2009
random thoughts
A very happy new year to you.
On one of these chilly week end mornings i decided to venture out to the city centre and as i saw people passing by some thoughts struck me. Each face has a different story on it, each one different yet so similar to the other- it is just about success and failure in one or the other aspect of life. Success which is not ever lasting and failures which are not fatal. But at a given moment that is all that matters. I wonder why?
Birmingham being the trade hub of England has attracted people from various parts of the world, especially Asians and Africans. So on a busy weekend the usual sight is of an excellent international mix of people buzzing around. For some reason i recalled the view of the busy Delhi markets and tried to compare. Lots of people, going in every possible direction, everyone eager to go ahead of the other. Thanks to westernization of the eastern world, even the average dress sense of people isn't too different either. But something was different. I don't know what. Forget about the surroundings, the architecture and all, just the crowd, was different. Why? What makes humans so different despite them being so alike one another? Same body, similar day-to-day needs, similar habits. But we are still different. Guess some questions are better unanswered, though. It is this variety that keeps life colourful. Cheerful. Fun to live.
On one of these chilly week end mornings i decided to venture out to the city centre and as i saw people passing by some thoughts struck me. Each face has a different story on it, each one different yet so similar to the other- it is just about success and failure in one or the other aspect of life. Success which is not ever lasting and failures which are not fatal. But at a given moment that is all that matters. I wonder why?
Birmingham being the trade hub of England has attracted people from various parts of the world, especially Asians and Africans. So on a busy weekend the usual sight is of an excellent international mix of people buzzing around. For some reason i recalled the view of the busy Delhi markets and tried to compare. Lots of people, going in every possible direction, everyone eager to go ahead of the other. Thanks to westernization of the eastern world, even the average dress sense of people isn't too different either. But something was different. I don't know what. Forget about the surroundings, the architecture and all, just the crowd, was different. Why? What makes humans so different despite them being so alike one another? Same body, similar day-to-day needs, similar habits. But we are still different. Guess some questions are better unanswered, though. It is this variety that keeps life colourful. Cheerful. Fun to live.
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