Inspired by Wrightson

As an astronomer I get to visit remote highlands across the world, where most observatories are located. This time work has brought me to Mt.Hopkins in the Arizonian desert of Tucson. Besides Mt. Hopkins, stands the great Mt. Wrightson which is slightly higher than Mt. Hopkins and now more dry because it was burnt down by a massive forest fire 5-6 years ago. Both these peaks form a part of the Coronado national park- best known for black bears and mountain lions. And as I sit in the dorm kitchen with a cup of coffee thinking about loved ones, my future and the uncertainty of life... the latter thought provoken by the sad news of the death of an esteemed astronomer and fellow colleague who has inspired me at several stages in my career and more recently in the general ways of life, a few words float in my head and connect it to my heart.


Before me were many who endured
this solitude in this wilderness,
and there will be many hence....
But as I watch out thy majestic self Wrightson
I feel blessed, and at peace, and meagre in all sense.
Blessed to have had the opportunity to see you,
and being loved by the ones who fill my heart.
Peace engulfs me as I think of you, you who saw
many a centuries pass by, and many a generations.
You saw it all that exists under the blue skies
and still stand alone, enduring it all.
And meagre as I am in the world.. with an uncertain
span of time at my hands, and for sure too short to
do it all and see it all. But I still find peace within me
to have been loved and cared for,
even when encountering failures as big as a wall.
I feel satisfied that I told them what they
mean to me, before its too late.
I did what I wanted to, most times in my life.
And although not as majestic as thy, I still stand
proud for being the reason for a few smiles, a few
inspirations, and the pride of two men's life.

To you...

Like a windfall of dreams into my life you came,

you.... who accepted me for who I am,

yet changed me to a better person than I was.

I'm indebted to you for all I learn about love

everyday; I adore you for just being there,

I respect you for who you are,

but I love you for loving me this way.

No words can express how I feel about you,

but I love you very much, is all I can say.


I belong to you, for all I am,

and sense the pride that you take in being mine.

I'm not good with words I know, but

I also know that you know all I have to say.

Every moment in life is a dream with you,

and I now live in a beautiful one all day.

No actions or words define how I feel about you,

but I love you very much, is all I can say.


I want to cherish you for life, to love you,

and being loved even if we have to strive.

I promise to be there, my love, and

I promise to be a part of all you do.

Be mine forever, is all I ask, and

have faith in the choice of my way.

No words can express how I feel about you,

but I love you very much, is all I can say.

People

People come, people go,

what stays behind are memories.
People say, people do,
whats left behind are emotions.
But life goes on, as time goes on,
and we start fooling ourselves with
the people themselves.
Its not them that matters,
what matters is how they felt.
How they felt in my company,
how I felt for them, no matter
if I met them again. No matter
if I did what they wanted. I am
the fortunate one to know them,
and blessed to have been known.
So care for those who care, and
adore those who don't. Love the ones
who love, and even those who won't.
Life is too long with hatred, and too
short for love. So cherish 'NOW',
as best as you may, and leave the
rest for nature, to sort out
in its own sweet way.

Have a good day!

Smriti

'They' will get used to violence?..

It's quiet some time now since I have been thinking about this and the thoughts do appear 'randomly' in my write-ups too, terrorism. It just disturbs me virtually all the time, day and night. The very alien thought of humans killing human for something they are not even sure of, or for something they believe 'guards' us all. I know it is depressing and most of us do not have much time to think about beyond the critical circumstances of our own ridiculously complicated lives, but I still think about it, I can not help it.

God, the creator, the supreme, the all almighty, they use it's name to ruin mortal lives, destroy minuscule moments of happiness and tear apart memories. It agitates me to hear when people say that the next generation will 'get used to' this violence. Used to Violence? Why do they want to be engaged in a race of faith? Why can't democracy, the freedom of expression and opinion be uniformly defined? Why does it need to be politicized for a momentary good to few? It makes me feel sick, at heart and in my stomach.

I know I am not doing anything to stop it, probably I can not, but I don't want to blame those who have the responsibility either. My optimism tells me they are trying, hard. I am trying to imagine a morning when I will get up without a fear for the safety of my loved ones. When I will travel without losing hope of reaching the destination. When well-wishers will not stop me from returning back to the land I belong to, just because they want me safe and happy. The day I will be happy in the world I dream of, but find it very hard to imagine at the moment. The happy, peaceful world I have faint memories of from my childhood. I hope I will spend a few years of my life in my fairy-tale world.

I don't know!

I am wondering if it is the ‘I don’t know’ aspect of life that keeps us going, keeps it interesting. It is like hiking, following a trail, which gets tough at times, easy on others, I meet fellow hikers, I forget all pain and hardship occasionally when I admire the view of the valley from the summit, I carry on, knowing it is just going to be trees and trail, sky and mud at every new step forward, but yet the excitement does not diminishes. I so wish not to encounter the inhabitants of the forest, but somewhere within me I prepare myself for the adventure and so want it to happen, for the sake of ‘adventure’!

Life is as interesting, as predictably unpredictable and as knowingly unknown as a trail! But deciding to end the rendezvous with trail is in my hands, life just goes on, with its own steady pace, but sometimes too fast that it scares me that if I fail to keep up with it, it is going to be destructive.

Memories of the hikers I met in the past, surround me in those silent, dark, lonely evenings. For some of them I wonder what they are up to, for some I make a silent wish and hope they do well what ever, where ever. Some haunt me, and I think why I met them in the first place, some bring a smile on my face, some bring a tear. Some of them bring a strange pain, so dreadful that I want to return at that moment and start running to the point where I met them hoping to see them again, wishing to hug them, tell them how I felt, that the trail is going to be even more beautiful with their company to cherish for, but then my rational brain stops me. They are not going to be there. They would have moved on. Just like I did. I regret. May be shed a tear or two. Cry myself to sleep or get lost in the world of more memories- happy but painful. But then I am hopeful of a new day. A new beginning. Sometimes, of meeting them again. Often turning back to see if there is any trace of the ones I so wish to see. My practical brain ‘knows’ it won’t happen, my optimism assures me it will. The rational voice that follows me all the time, replies the same way as it mostly does, ‘I don’t know’!

random thoughts

A very happy new year to you.

On one of these chilly week end mornings i decided to venture out to the city centre and as i saw people passing by some thoughts struck me. Each face has a different story on it, each one different yet so similar to the other- it is just about success and failure in one or the other aspect of life. Success which is not ever lasting and failures which are not fatal. But at a given moment that is all that matters. I wonder why?

Birmingham being the trade hub of England has attracted people from various parts of the world, especially Asians and Africans. So on a busy weekend the usual sight is of an excellent international mix of people buzzing around. For some reason i recalled the view of the busy Delhi markets and tried to compare. Lots of people, going in every possible direction, everyone eager to go ahead of the other. Thanks to westernization of the eastern world, even the average dress sense of people isn't too different either. But something was different. I don't know what. Forget about the surroundings, the architecture and all, just the crowd, was different. Why? What makes humans so different despite them being so alike one another? Same body, similar day-to-day needs, similar habits. But we are still different. Guess some questions are better unanswered, though. It is this variety that keeps life colourful. Cheerful. Fun to live.

Those eyes

They pierce through my soul, as i think about them,
blue as the mid day summer skies,
deep as the sea in the Caribbean,... they hit me
every time i see them, every time i close my eyes.
Since the moment when i first saw them,
i confess now, i didn't heard you recite any more,
my love; I didn't saw you any more too.
It was just those mesmerizing blue eyes.....
between me and you.
I still remember them, as i first saw them.
They said something more than your words,
a tale of your past, your fears and your unsaid
thoughts. They still do that, when ever i am in doubt,
they still show me the way, when i could least come out.
I love them still, and i promise, i always will.