Name sake

I was just surfing the net minutes ago when suddenly without any particular reason i typed my own name in the google search engine. There emerged so many lives, so many 'SMRITI MAHAJAN's so to say- each one a story, distinct yet similar to every other perhaps.

Some one is in London, someone is a medical professional, someone is still in school and probably celebrating a recent victory in a talent hunt.... but each one, possibly with a pride in the name that is mine, and theirs, and just like me they all would think of it as their very unique entity.

I'm drowning down the past now, into all those moments where i argued, and fought just for my name sake! I wonder why now?!! It never belonged 'only' to me, it never will. I never owed it, actually it was given to me! I wonder why i felt it was special, i wonder why they think it is special...

I'm really feeling very ordinary now, not on the negative side though! I think i will always remember this fact next time when i get that 'this is me' feeling. I will never fight back again for the sake of my name, when someone will say things about 'Smriti Mahajan'- there are thousands of them, why should i bother!!

I feel so closer to him today, an inseparable part of his vast universe, where i just have a label, like everyone else, and that too is not unique. I feel so light, the weight of keeping upto my name has vanished from my shoulders. yes, i am freed from the name sake..

How lucky are we..

Thinking of the ceremonious Diwali time brings back a lot of sweet memories of all diwalis spent at home, amongst family and friends, laughter, joy, happiness..... but leaves me wondering what will be Diwali like for those who lost their loved ones this year??

A father who left for the office in the morning but never returned, a son who promised new furniture for home this diwali, but is no more to fulfill it, a mother who is missed by her kids at this very auspicious occasion, how will the Diwali be in all these homes??!!

Its scary, its sad, i know, and that is why it gives me a strange feeling of pride to think how lucky are we to be amongst people whom we love. How special every moment spent in their company is, and how special is this life that we have got to be so happy.

Always keep smiling, be happy and have a positive outlook towards life. The world no doubt will become a beautiful place to be. Always remember `I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET'. Being an astronomer i believe, our very existence at this very unique position in the Universe is the best thing that has happened to us, and emotions, care, feelings and love are added bonus. :D

Live life to its fullest, i wish you all a very happy diwali and a cheerful life ahead!
Blessings & wishes, Smriti

स्वयं दर्शन

मैं कौन हूँ, क्या हूँ? मुझे ख़ुद की तलाश है शायद … मैं जानना चाहता हूँ मैं यहाँ क्यूँ हूँ? मेरा उद्देश्य क्या है? अतीतसे मुझे सरोकार नही, भविष्य की चिंता भी नहीं है मुझे, फ़िर मैं बेचैन क्यूँ हूँ?

इस पल में कुछ कमी सी है… नहीं शायद मैं भटक रहा हूँ..

अगर मैं सर्व विद्यमान ईश्वर का अंश हूँ तो मैं दिशाहीन नही हो सकता हूँ, मैं परमात्मा का अंश आत्मा हूँ, मैंसर्वविद्यमान हूँ. न मैं था, न मैं होऊंगा, पर मैं कल भी था, आज भी हूँ और कल भी रहूँगा|

समय मैं हूँ, भूत मैं हूँ, और भविष्य भी मैं हूँ….. केवल मैं| यही मेरा परिचय है| फ़िर मैं भूल क्यूँ जाता हूँ? क्यूँ मैं कभी भाई, कभी बेटा, कभी माँ, कभी दोस्त, कभी शिक्षक, कभी शिष्य बन जाता हूँ?

ये मेरा स्वाभाव है| सर्वविद्यमान होने के लिए मुझे अनेक रूप धारण करने पड़ते हैं| तो बस मैं धारण कर लेता हूँ| किंतु भूल ये होती है की पात्र अदा करते-करते मैं उस चरित्र में ही खो जाता हूँ| मैं वही होता हूँ, परन्तु अपनाअस्तित्व मैं खो देता हूँ| यही भूल मेरे दर्द का कारण बनती है|

आज मैं उस सर्व शक्तिमान, सर्वत्र विद्यमान परमात्मा से प्रार्थना करता हूँ की हम सबका मार्गदर्शन करें| हम अपनाअस्तित्व याद रख पाएं, इस जीवन पथ पर अग्रसर होते हुए अपने प्रयोजन को सफल कर पाएं ऐसा आशीर्वादआज मैं मांगता हूँ! ॐ शान्ति!!

An evening walk.. with myself

After a long time nature mercifully provided the opportunity to take a walk in the evening. I strolled on the wet pavements of edgbaston enjoying the soft red rays of the setting sun filtering through the multi-coloured autumn leaves. The chirruping birds, distant howling of the wind, and occasionally passing by cars. It was peaceful. Even at the lake there weren't many people, 'wasting' their time; after all saturday evenings are for doing far better things! It was so peaceful there, that i lost track of where and why i am going. It was perfect to set upon a new journey, a journey to explore the 'self'.

What makes me happy or sad or angry or neutral? I was happy at that moment, talking to the trees, as i walked around the lake, smiling at the ducks, and imagining my smile reflected back from their faces, i was happy. But why? I wanted to know. There was something in that moment that was missing in my life for a long time. But what? I don't know. But it was a moment of self enlightenment. Suddenly life was beautiful again. I was a different person. I was happy. But why?

May be that is the answer. The problem is never around us, it is 'in' us. The problem exist because we allow it to exist. We don't let it go off our brains, and there it stays, ruling our actions and reactions in all its glory!! But the moment we stop giving it the importance it is enjoying, it goes away, like smoke from fire vanishes away in thin air. And that is the route to happiness.

We feel good after sharing a bad experience with a friend. It is actually not them, but their presence that make a difference. Their 'physical' presence defocus the brain from the problem, that we have been worrying for a long time and there you are!! That is probably what i experienced. I was happy because i was at peace with my 'self'.

On a lighter note to end this post, i would say remember to go on a walk when you are in trouble. It might help you, just the way i benefited!! :)

Good luck!